The concept of a metaphorical bridge to someone else’s mind is so beautiful. A bridge is an invitation, not an obligation. It’s there any time you want or need to cross it. It’s just… there. It’s a perfect representation of the best gift you can offer your child: your presence. Just be there, ready to facilitate their journey whenever they choose to step onto that bridge.
Painting with my kids creates an incredible bridge of shared experiences, exploration, freedom of thought, curiosity, and of course: presence. The lack of screens means we really connect, even if we’re each silently creating our own art.
YOU DO NOT NEED TO BE ARTISTIC.
I can sense you thinking, “I am not an artist. This is not for me.” Almost every time I have a conversation about painting, the first objection is some version of, “I can’t do that.”
What does this attitude teach your children? If you’re not already good at something, don’t try it. You and I both know that’s a terrible message, yet we telegraph that message every time we put ourselves down for our lack of ability. Granted, sometimes it’s true. You should have training and practice before you get a driver’s license. You shouldn’t try surgery just to see what it’s like. But we’re talking about putting paint on canvas here. You can do this, and the only risk is you might not love the result. Guess what? You can throw away the painting. No one is pressuring you to create something amazing.
When you sit down to paint with your child, the bridge spontaneously springs into existence. Just paint and be present. Your child will start crossing the bridge immediately. They will share their thoughts and feelings, and your job is to be curious. Ask questions whenever you can, and enjoy the process, even if the result isn’t a masterpiece. I’ll give you one beautiful example.
I was painting with my 4-year-old daughter, and she had decided she’d rather color with markers than paint on a canvas. She quickly started showing emotions of frustration and sadness because she was unable to draw a horse. I asked, “What is the hardest part?” and she said, “I don’t know how to draw a horse mouth.” She had drawn an oval on the horse’s profile face, and she was right; it did not look like a mouth at all. I said, “Hmmm… if you see a horse from the side, can you see their whole mouth or just one side of it?” She turned the page and tried again, but right away she drew the body so big, there wasn’t enough room for the head. She started to cry. I suggested she could draw the horse inside the oval, rather than using it as a body, but she came up with a better idea: it could be a speech bubble! She asked how to spell “neigh.” I told her each letter slowly, and she said she didn’t know how to write a G. I wrote it in the air with my finger, and she did this:
She tried to draw a horse under the speech bubble, but she got frustrated again and scribbled it out. She never succeeded in drawing a horse.
There is no such thing as “bad” art. The process is what matters, and it is impossible to relay this to your mind unless you try it. Just engage in the process and see what happens. In this case, I sat with Claire during some difficult emotions, and then I got a beautiful sample of her 4-year-old handwriting, including her spontaneously creative interpretation of the letter “G.” I showed her a proper “G” (you can see it on the paper) and gushed about how cool her “G” was. My 9-year-old, Afton, is a great big sister, and she chimed in with, “Words can be art, Claire.”
Claire felt better. She looked at her art with satisfaction. She created something interesting, and it wasn’t at all what she intended. That night, after the paint had dried on my canvas, I sat down to paint alone and added the finishing touch.
Move the slider to see the before and after.
The next day, when Claire got home from preschool, I told her I had a little surprise for her. I let her know it was just my latest painting. I didn’t want her to be disappointed that it wasn’t a toy, but to my surprise, she was genuinely excited to see what I had painted for her. I carried her into the office and showed her this:
I told her I loved her art so much, especially her letter “G,” that I wanted to hang it in my office and also try to copy it in my painting. And I told her with complete honesty, “This is my favorite painting now because it reminds me of you and being with you.” She put her head on my shoulder, and I asked if she liked it. She kept her head on my shoulder and made a sound like a kitty, which she loves to do. I think she was touched and a bit bashful about her emotions. I said, “I’m not sure if that means you like it or not,” and she said in her kitty voice, “I do.” I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a squeeze.
I am begging you, please, watch lesson 1 and try painting with your kids, or your neighbor, or your partner, or anyone you’d like to offer a bridge to – including yourself. Mental health benefits await those who explore creative activity without judgment. My FREE six-lesson course will help you create some beautiful art without burdening yourself with expectations.
I’ve decided to call this painting “Claire’s Horse,” and it’s at least the third painting I’ve done on this single canvas. I actually don’t know how many. This is another simple and profound benefit of painting. Remember I said you could throw the painting away? You can, of course, but paint covers paint, and the paint underneath can provide an interesting texture that adds depth to the art, so why not just paint over a piece you don’t like? It is impossible to fail as long as you have more paint.
“Claire’s Horse” convinced me that I am an artist. I started painting 14 months ago, when I visited my artist friends and they brought out paint and canvases. I would not have chosen to paint. I wasn’t interested. But they didn’t ask if I wanted to paint; they informed me that we were going to paint, and then they sent me home with paint and canvases. I wish I could do the same for you. Here’s the closest I can offer in a blog post:
- The cheapest starter set with quality paint and paintbrushes included: Amazon Affiliate Link – please use this link when purchasing.
- The best deal on canvases is at Target: Large – Small. I am not a Target affiliate; this is just the best deal I’ve found.
Paint and canvases are the bare minimum, but I’d love if you’d use my Amazon Links for any other supplies you’d like to pick up.
You need a hobby, and your child’s mind is waiting. Build a bridge.
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